Introduction (: 00:06

Welcome to the Better Than Bitter™ Divorce Podcast, where we flip the script on divorce and show you how to have a more amicable divorce resolution. I'm your host, Tania Leichliter a divorce coach, a certified life coach, and the mastermind behind the Better Than Bitter five-step game plan course, where I help individuals build a pathway towards a more amicable divorce resolution.

Each week, I'll bring you uplifting stories from people who've successfully experienced amicable separations, proving that divorce doesn't have to be a battleground. Whether you're overwhelmed with grief, struggling with custody and co-parenting, or just dealing with a high-conflict individual, this podcast is here to guide you towards reclaiming your life and being what I know is possible, better than bitter.

Tania Leichliter (: 01:17

Welcome to the Better Than Bitter podcast, episode 36, Should You Sell or Should You Stay? The divorce dilemma around the sale of the family home. Amy Plante is a powerhouse real estate expert, a platinum Keller Williams top agent. She services Massachusetts, Cape Cod, and Rhode Island, but she is a resource for anybody going through divorce.

With over two decades of experience and dual degrees in psychology and business, Amy has an amazing blend of being financially savvy as well as emotionally intelligent. She has an incredibly deep understanding of real estate that she can bring to you during this divorce process. She is not only a trusted realtor, but she is a strategic partner for clients who are navigating one of

the most tumultuous, biggest life's transitions. She is a certified divorce specialist and an accredited buyer representative who understands that selling a home during divorce isn't just about market value. It's about timing, getting clarity around what's important to you, and really focusing on long-term peace of mind.

So today she's here to help you explore one of the most emotional decisions in divorce: should you sell the family home? Welcome, Amy.

Amy Plante (: 02:37

Thanks, Tania. Thank you so much for inviting me here. I'm thrilled to be able to join you and everyone else and help in this navigation process.

Tania Leichliter (: 02:46

I know, so you come from such an emotional place because in my own divorce, this was my dilemma. When my parents got divorced and my mom stayed in the town where I lived, but we lived in multiple houses, you know, in our hometown. And then when I went to college and I was finishing up my freshman year, she's like, you know what, I'm gonna sell the house, the last house that we were in.

In our town, and she's like, and I'm going to move to Florida. And I was in Connecticut. And I just remember being so angry because like that was my community. had, even though I'd lived in multiple houses and we bopped around a lot within our community, cause my mom was an architect and she kept building a house and we'd move into it and she built another house and we'd move into it. But I stayed within the community. I valued the community that I grew up in. And when she left, I said, I'll never do that to my kids.

And so when I got divorced, it was like, I don't want to do that to my kids. But I live in a house that is in a town where the taxes are as much as my mortgage, and I don't want to have kids in the school anymore. Do I stay or do I sell?

And my own personal experience was that I had built into my divorce agreement that I could stay in the house for two years after both of my kids went to school. And my ex would stay on the mortgage so I could hold on to the interest rate, even though I was paying the mortgage in full, he would stay on it just so I could hold on to the interest rate.

But then, as I got closer, I watched the market conditions. I'm watching the unknowns unravel. I'm watching the market crash. I'm watching the market spike, and I'm looking around at all the properties, and people are still getting top dollar for homes around here. And I think I need to sell. And so I told the kids like, I'm going to sell the house.

And then, of course, all of the emotions, even though I'm a divorce coach, all the emotions came flooding in. My God, I'm doing to my kids what my mother did to me. How common is what I went through, things that you deal with on a regular basis with other individuals going through divorce?

Amy Plante (: 05:02

Absolutely, Tania. Mean, your story is the same one that I hear day in and day out. And I feel like the people that benefit the most are the ones that say, you know what? This is what I'm going to put into my divorce decree. Like, let's wait until everyone graduates from college so all the kids can come home. While you're negotiating that little piece, imagine if you spoke to a divorce expert at that time and said,

You know what, like what are the pros and cons of this? How does that feel? And I think that the other thing is that we forget is that even though our kids are kids to us, leaving for college, their mindset, they're adults, and there are more things that they can handle. And I think that if it's presented to them in the beginning, where, you know, there's a chance that this might not work out.

for all of us, or especially me. And let's try to sit down and get all of the bits and pieces of that information exactly where the market is. Can I stay here? Am I staying here for the right reasons? Am I living in my own house where my kids are in college for 10 months by myself?

Tania Leichliter (: 06:10

mean, in the last six months, for my house, my water, my air conditioner broke, my furnace broke.

I had a little bit of mold in the basement that I had to remediate and remove all the floors and replace them. My water heater broke, and I did not pass Title V septic, all in the last six months. And so I have put...

65, $70,000 into this home that I had anticipated staying in, but I had to do financing around all of that work, right? And it's all coming due in September. And so, otherwise, I pay interest on that. So I thought to myself, gosh, I mean, I could pay for it with a home equity line of credit. And then at...

at 8 % interest versus the 19 % that I would get hit with if I use the financial organization that did the financing on that loan. But again, it's so overwhelming, we're coming from a big home with like a beautiful view and lots of space.

But realistically, my daughter is going to be a junior in college. And is she even going to come home next summer? She's probably going to get an internship somewhere outside of Boston. And my son will come home. But do the two of us need to be in that big of a home? So I made the decision, Amy, to pull the ripcord and sell. And...

You know, not be house poor and simplify my life, rent for a while till I can decide where I wanna go. But I'm still here in town and I've moved into like a full-service apartment complex with a pool and a golf simulator and a hot tub and a beautiful gym and barbecue pits and corn hole. And I was like, how can my kids not wanna come home to this? Like, this is like staying in a luxury hotel.

Amy Plante (: 08:02

Yeah, absolutely. It's a resort where you're living.

Tania Leichliter (: 08:06

And for me, I pay one bill, which is my rent. And all the other stuff goes away. I don't have to deal with landscaping. I don't have to deal with snow removal. I don't have to deal with taxes.

You know, just breathe through it and say, God, how do I simplify my life?

Amy Plante (: 08:21

And what's great about what you did is you're still keeping that promise to yourself because you're still in that community. You didn't leave that town. I mean, you're not there for a school system. Your kids are, you know, and it was such a great balance, I feel like, for you to say, you know what? I don't need this gigantic house.

Tania Leichliter (: 08:41

Yeah, and I think that my ex is not in this town, but he is in a town 15 minutes from here. And again, the kids aren't in high school anymore. So the 15 minutes away is not as much of an issue as it was when they were going to school. So it's not all on my shoulders to provide the space and the place. want to provide the space and the place, so they would want to come and stay with me. But I also want them to want to stay with their dad.

I want them to have that equal time. And everybody in my podcast knows that I nest. And so, you know, my kids have always had a very secure single space that's been theirs through our divorce, where we've been the travelers and they have stayed put in the house, and we have alternated in and out of the house and have had separate residences.

So my kids haven't necessarily gone through the massive transition that some other divorced children have been through.

And I'll tell you, if you are getting divorced and you're having an expectation that your kids are gonna be the ones who travel, I want you to take the time to experience it yourself before you take the plunge to go do that, because you need to have compassion for what you're asking them to do. I've been living this for three years, and as good as you can make it for your kids, it is a

really hard, a hard thing to have to do. mean, half of my stuff is in my car because I never know where things are, is it at this house, is it at this house? So think about your kids, like this is what they're doing. Like I've had to experience it firsthand, and it's really tough. And this idea of like when they come back to school, from school, and they want to have a home base,

I'm going to do my best to make sure that they feel like they have everything they need at my place, everything they need at their dad's place. They shouldn't have the expectation that everything is going to be the same as it always was. mean, a lot of families do stay in their

But so many don't anymore. It's just a different world. Don't you agree?

Amy Plante (: 10:41

I completely agree, whether families are separating and divorcing or not. People are moving. I think that parenting is hard enough. And when you get to that place, you know,

Our job as parents is to want them to fly,

Tania Leichliter (: 10:59

What I recognize is that the fear of being alone ⁓ for the individuals who are getting divorced, the connection of holding onto the home makes them believe that their children are gonna come back to be with them. That is a self-serving prophecy versus...

because they want the place that everyone wants to come back to, so they don't have to be alone. Versus thinking about it in the reverse to say like, okay, what in order for me to not feel alone and not rely on my kids to not make me feel alone, what do I need to be doing with my own life to create fulfillment and satisfaction and not rely on them to give me that feeling?

But I really do think home is where the heart is.

It doesn't have to be that house. You can stay close by so they can still be with their friends, and they can still have that sense of community. I suffered from having a community abandonment that I promised I wouldn't do. But there are so many ways to get to that, even if you sell the house.

I know that I'm talking from a place of having financial means, and I do wanna be sensitive to the fact that I don't wanna sound like everybody can do what I'm doing. Maybe you can talk through a little bit of that, because obviously, my house was worth money that I could then utilize to rent a place, or I could utilize it to buy a place somewhere else, and then I could utilize it to do other things. But not everybody is in that financial position.

Amy Plante (: 12:30

Yeah, absolutely. And I think that obviously, the finances and the assets of the home are typically the biggest value. The only thing that I can say now compared to when I started real estate 22 years ago, I'm going to say 85 % of people, unless you just bought yesterday, have equity in their homes. mean, a decade ago, we were dealing with who's bringing money in order for us to sell and move on?

And that's when divorcing couples were just staying together because no one could afford to leave. I'm gonna say again, at least 85 % of people have equity in their home. So, whether that's just a little nest egg to get you out into an apartment that you can afford.

I have this awesome divorce guide that goes through your financials. if we're talking about our age, where our kids are in college, and we're moving on with our lives, what is that going to look like?

Financially, it's just me bringing in the bacon compared to a two-income household. And in the guide, it shows what the mortgage is right now. What the rent might be. What if I now own this house? Okay. Well, my roof is 28 years old there's no exact date on a warranty for your roof.

water heaters. mean, those could last a year, they could last 20. All of those little antics that you don't think about, especially the Title Five one, through every divorce meeting we talk about

The CMA and the appraisal, and how important that is for figuring out the value of your home. But if you're planning on taking on that value, let's make sure that you're getting a home inspection.

Tania Leichliter (: 14:04

let's talk

about that. I want to talk about that because I had no idea when I was going through this divorce process that before I made the decision to take on the house, I should have gotten an inspection. So I knew the state of the house that I was taking on as my asset.

I could have gotten a Title V inspection done before I took that on as an asset. And most likely, it would have failed three years ago, too. So please, if you're listening, listen to Amy. Don't just get the appraisal.

Amy Plante (: 14:40

talking about things called Title V's, so in case you're not from Massachusetts, that's our septic inspection. Different states have different laws. For example, in Rhode Island, it's the buyer's responsibility to do the inspection. But at the same time, if you are not hooked up to water and sewer, I know you think home inspection is within the home, but...

Tania Leichliter (: 14:38

Go and get an inspection.

Amy Plante (: 14:59

Exactly. If you had that title five done, even if it passed in Massachusetts, if you have your system pumped and they re-inspect it every year, your title five will carry through for more than the year that it's worth. So even if maybe it was on the verge of something, maybe it could have been a fix, maybe like a $5,000 fix instead of a full system or all of these things, or someone just saying, Hey,

Tania Leichliter (: 15:13

Mm.

So I that was one thing I really wanted to bring up, this idea around getting that inspection, so you know what the asset is that you are carrying over to your side of the equation, and that you know, expenses might be in the next five years with that house.

So you can really begin to negotiate for that asset in a way that's meaningful because it might not be just the equity you have in the house. It could be the fact that you're going to have to put some repairs in. And just to let you know, in order to sell my house, I put in a lot of money just to get it ready to sell.

st,: 2025

So he's like, I don't have to pay for anything because he had until then to get that work done. And therefore, do I decide to go fight him and go back to mediation and do that thing? And I said, no, because ultimately that's what it says in the agreement. What am I going to fight for? Am I going to fight for something that I know in writing says that he had until a certain date? So again, think, really think through how you are speaking about the home, how the home is being valued, subtract the cost of updates or repairs that need to happen.

How are you going to pay for those repairs?

to get the house ready to be sold. If those things broke during the time that you were still together, it would be a joint responsibility. So again, you gotta think of all these things, unfortunately, right, Amy?

Amy Plante (: 17:16

Right.

I think that Tania and I know, because we're in the divorce field, we know so many people and so many experts where we can reach out and say, hey, XYZ, I'm thinking about this. Do you have thoughts on that? Those experts are all available to you as well. They're licensed and specialize in divorce for that reason. I think it's hard when

people open up to their best friends or their family to try to get advice. And if someone hasn't been in your shoes or in your path, maybe they had an amicable divorce and maybe they didn't have a home or maybe they didn't have young children or older children. So I always say, especially, let's leave the attorneys to the side because they're going to cost you the most money. Let's talk to you.

you know, a financial person, let's talk to somebody who specializes in real estate divorce or for your mortgage, you know, like, let's make sure somebody understands and can give me a heads up to say, Hey, if you don't do that now, let's look into the future and make a choice and figure out what's going to be best for you. And to make sure that you're not spending $65,000 on your house before you list it.

Tania Leichliter (: 18:27

So one of the other things that my realtor did not understand is that when you have a divorce agreement, you still have to follow through with everything that's within that agreement. And because everything in my agreement was accelerated so quickly because I made this decision to sell, we actually hadn't done a lot of the things to fully separate the assets.

We hadn't actually made the change to the deed yet.

Yeah, yeah. So I got an offer on the house. I get the P &S. She looks at the deed, and the deed still had mine and my ex-husband's name on it because we hadn't done the transfer yet. So we went to go sign the P &S. I had both of our names and my ex was like, I can't sign this. It's going to be a tax liability on me if I sign it. He's like, or so I think. I'm not really quite sure, but I'm not comfortable. So we had to quickly get that quick claim deed and meet that you know, name transfer.

So then everything was back into my name. And the real estate attorney was a little freaked out because he hadn't spoken to the lawyer to make sure that this was all, you know, okay. And it was like a fire drill because obviously the buyers were like, Have 24 hours to get the P and S signed. And so, you know, we were able to push that we got it done, but it was.

Again, you need to understand these things, you just need to have the questions asked of you. Have you done this? Have you done that? Have you done this? Have you done that? Because again, it's a full list of things that a regular married couple might not have to do. So, a realtor who doesn't have knowledge of whether I have asked the right questions of the seller? Again, you have to lean on the professional. And I was fully leaning on my realtor to, like, know what to do. I never, I have never sold a house in 15 years. And I just didn't even remember all the things. And again, I wasn't dealing with all these things that I was dealing with now.

Amy Plante (: 20:24

HGTV doesn't show you that they just show let's get your house ready. I feel like that's the world we've been in for the past 15 years where people just see, yeah, let's have a fixer-upper or come in and we'll do some work and we'll throw the sign in the front yard, when there's so much more background work that's required.

Tania Leichliter (: 20:26

Bye!

Amy Plante (: 20:41

I'm sorry, the real estate attorney that I use obviously works with me for a very long time. And so he knows those red flags. Before I even list a property, I'm sending him the address. Have him pull up every, you know, I try to stay in my real estate box. I know proactively, just like the consumer, just like Tania. I mean, honestly, three-quarters of that stuff is not for you to do.

Tania Leichliter (: 20:55

Yeah.

Amy Plante (: 21:03

That is for your expert that you're relying on to make sure that those things get done. It shouldn't be another added stress to your life. You've got enough on your plate, I always say. And if I'm doing my job correctly, all you're doing is going through your task list that we set up together. Otherwise than that, I'm here to do my job.

Tania Leichliter (: 21:24

Yeah, and I think that's what's so important. As a divorce coach, I had a handle, on the emotional piece of it for the most part, I was doing mindset management the whole time because I had kids who were so upset and they were definitely lashing out. They didn't want to keep the house nice for showings because they didn't care. They were hoping the house wouldn't sell, you know, like there was all this emotional stuff going in through the process.

They were like, Mom, this is your deal. And they would walk out with like their rooms a mess before we would have a showing and just didn't want to participate in this because it's not what they wanted. I felt like a bad mom, like I, then, and ultimately I knew that they're, they're going to be fine and that, you know, they are going to be happy with the decisions.

Amy Plante (: 21:59

right.

Tania Leichliter (: 22:09

I've made over time, but it's a challenging part of it, even as a coach. again, because I've gone through it and I've experienced it and I have been able to live it, like I definitely can coach through it better than somebody who theoretically can think about what it might be like, but hasn't had the experience. And so, Amy, that kind of leads me to this. So, like you're married.

You're not somebody who is divorced, but you and I had a great conversation earlier about your parents' divorce. And I always like to share, you know, part of this podcast is talking to adult children of divorce. And whether your parents had an amicable divorce or a tumultuous divorce, it guides us in life to, you know, wanting to give back.

or wanting to share our experiences in a way that's meaningful to help others. So I did want to just give you the opportunity to tell a little bit about why you ended up servicing, you know, people who are getting divorced, and with your own past experience with your own parents.

Amy Plante (: 23:15

Yeah, thanks for asking. I'm an only child, so I was brought up with both of my parents. My parents ended up separating when I was in college. And then their divorce was actually finalized the same year that I got married.

they were together for 29 years and we went from one big happy family that they were pretending for me to do to, you know, an awful time of the, what was supposed to be the best day of my life ended up being not so great because I had to separate my parents at the wedding and make sure that

This one's yelling at this one because someone's paying for something and not paying for something, and all of the things that I went through as an adult. And I always kind of look back and think, when I was in college, they could have just gotten this done. I can see, as a human being, that these two people are not happy together. This isn't where they need to be. And them pretending to do that wasn't helpful for me.

If you have adult children, and honestly, adult children are 15 and 16 years old who can see, mom's not happy or dad is, always home, and where is mom? And it's different when they're little and you think you can get away with it.

just makes me remember that piece, and that's something that's important to me

Tania Leichliter (: 24:37

What did they end up doing, once they got divorced? Did they sell the family home? Did they stay in the town? Did one person hold on to it, the other person move on? What was the scenario?

Amy Plante (: 24:47

Yes. So my mom ended up staying at the home. But when I got back from college, I ended up moving in with my dad. At that point, I never had to do the back and forth. I didn't have a childhood like that. So I got to sort of choose where I wanted to be. And for me, being closer to my father meant home to me, even though my mom was in the home. ⁓ So when she ended up selling

Tania Leichliter (: 25:09

So just.

Amy Plante (: 25:13

a few years later, but the emotional piece wasn't for me, the emotional piece was for her.

Tania Leichliter (: 25:19

Yeah, interesting. So I can carry that forward. Home is where the heart is. Your father wasn't in the family home where you grew up, and you made that decision that you wanted to just stay with your dad for whatever emotional connection purposes that

You became a real estate agent first. What drew you to being wanting to help people who were going through divorce?

Amy Plante (: 25:44

Yeah, I think that's just like anything else, right? It's not that I sought out divorced people. Throughout my career, I just had these connections where I'm working through with people, and don't get me wrong, it's so cute and fun to work with first-time home buyers and see their light, a light turn on, and see their first home. But at the same time, it's for me, so rewarding to help a Tania who

if we can plan ahead or if we can to be able to have these tools. feel like everyone in our lives right now, basically, whether you're in finance or maybe you're a state home mom or whatever, your own knowledge to be able to share that with people, to help them do something in a different way or shed a different light on it or take stress away really was the draw for me when

I had this, you know, older divorcing couple, and, you know, she didn't want to go, and he was, was working with me first. He introduced me to their home and, you know, we worked through those bits and pieces, and at the end, now that we work with divorcing people all the time, it still stays true. And a year later, I had a handwritten letter from the wife saying,

Thank you for being there and helping us through that, but thank you even more for letting me walk away from that piece and let me start my life. So that's the rewarding pieces.

Tania Leichliter (: 27:09

That is such a great story. And that's why we do what we do. Listen, it's not an easy job to work with people who are getting divorced every day, it is so rewarding when you can empower people towards a brighter future. And you know, that's everything that Better Than Bitter does. It's the coaching that we do. It's getting the courage to create change in your life and transform your life into a life that feels better for you.

When you're feeling better, your family's gonna feel better. And my daughter wrote this amazing speech in college recently and wrote it about what it felt like for her at the beginning stages of divorce, and how she felt like she came from a broken family, and how she really believed that everyone was looking at her differently. And she had this

real feeling that there was something, now wrong with her and then move forward three years and how she really reflected back at the time that when we were together, like you said, as a husband and wife, like the tension and the confusion, she felt we weren't yellers, we weren't arguers. So it wasn't like she was seeing this as a blast of overt confrontation.

It was just two people who were going through the motions and not having a lot of connection. And then she's like three years later, I have these two parents that communicate so effectively and the relationships that I have built with each one of them, because both of them have rediscovered their authentic selves, and that they are so much happier as individuals, as people for themselves, not.

You know, for me, necessarily, but I've been able to get to know them. for who they really are. And when they were together, I didn't have that. And she's like, if they stayed together, it would have been really interesting to see what my relationships with them would have been. And now I have built these incredible relationships with each one of them independently because they are better for themselves. And I just, it was so impactful.

Just made me cry. And the fact that she was so vulnerable around it, and had done the self-reflection. And the only reason I say that and I tell the story is just that, it takes courage to do some of the things that we're talking about. It takes courage to put yourself first to figure out if you should sell this home. Because if you're holding onto the home for others,

and that it's going to put you in a financial position that you're not going to be able to live your life to the fullest because you are financially house poor because everything you have is wrapped up in the home, then you really need to be thinking about how you're showing up, not just for yourself, but for others. And that is this home going to be that thing that's going to prevent you from living because it could.

You know, it really could. And so I think there's like one other thing that I just wanted to talk about. one of the things that my financial planner did recently for me, and it's tied into what you were talking about, he did four scenarios for me because I came to him and said, OK, well, I'm going to I am decided to sell the home. But what I don't know is do I reinvest and buy a new home right away?

Do I just rent for the rest of my life? Do I buy a home with a mortgage or do I buy a house in cash? So he did four scenarios. Buy a house in the next year in cash, buy a house with 20 % down and take out a mortgage, rent for the rest of my life, or buy a house with the intent in cash.

With the intent to sell at 75, and 75 end up going back to more of a rental environment. And then there was a score that he gave for each of those, like 86, 80, 81, and 90. So, the financial health of where my entire portfolio lived, the two best scenarios for me personally would have been to rent for the rest of my life.

Or to buy in cash and sell when I'm 75, and then go rent. The buy-in cash alone, no. And they put the 20 % down and take out a mortgage, no. So it was such a great thing. That is why you have to work with a financial planner. So it's not just like,

You have to worry about the house with Amy or the mortgage broker with our friend Renee. But you also need to be working with a financial advisor once you make that decision to sell or not sell, and figure out what you should do. And they can model that for you. And I can't tell you what a relief that is when you're sitting in front of somebody and they're like telling you very specifically options and what it means for your future. Every time I walk out of there, I'm like,

Again, like I have answers and their truth, and they...

Amy Plante (: 31:59

Right?

Yeah. And honestly,

I'm sure whoever is watching this right now is thinking, who would think that one of the top answers is renting for the rest of your life.

Tania Leichliter (: 32:12

Totally. Yep. Yep.

Amy Plante (: 32:13

Right? No

One would be like, that makes the most sense, right? Because we're not financial planners. We don't have the numbers in front of us. You are so dead on straight, where to be able to have these people with all of the knowledge help you through this is magical. It's awesome.

Tania Leichliter (: 32:33

It is. And I loved that scenario of buying in cash and then selling at 75. Because at 75 also, like, guess what? You also don't want to deal with things like home ownership. You just want life to be easy, and you need to go move into your one-level place and, you know, feel secure. And, you know, ultimately it is a model, right? And they look at all of your finances, and obviously there are a lot of things and shifts that can happen over time. But they usually stay very conservative with it. But it's,

Amy Plante (: 32:45

Yep.

Tania Leichliter (: 33:01

It is a great experience. So if you are listening to this, like I said, you have lots of options, but don't do it in a vacuum. You know, make sure that you're doing it with the right support and the right professionals who are guiding you and don't rush into anything. Like, make sure you're doing your due diligence. And Amy and I talked about a lot of due diligence. Well, we're kind of running out of time. So I wanted to like,

First of all, thank you so much for being here. And I always put in like Tania's three top tips in terms of what people should take away from today's podcast episode. Number one is just what I said: make sure that you are hiring the right professionals to support you through this process. You have a lot of options. And when it comes to the home,

Make sure that you are doing your due diligence around the asset you have. Amy talked about getting that appraisal, getting that inspection, understanding what that asset actually is before you make that decision that you want that asset on your side of the negotiation table. The second thing is that we understand that this is an emotional decision.

And it is one that you will feel very worried about your entire family and what the consequences around selling your home. But being really honest with yourself in terms of the home and how that is going to put you in what type of financial position moving forward, and how you're going to be able to show up for yourself and for your family if it's going to put you under a lot of financial stress.

to that, then definitely get support from more of a financial advisor to be able to see the different scenarios by which you could be living out your life, selling and renting, buying a house in cash, taking out another mortgage, buying and selling when you're 75, being able to have that open communication with Amy.

Who is, again, your real estate professional that's sitting beside you when you're getting that information in from your financial advisor so she can help you plan? Are you gonna go look for a house in the area? Cause you wanna stay in your community. Are you gonna go look somewhere else? Amy can act as a referral to any market. again, making sure you're working with the right divorce professional. And lastly is just remember that

If you're just contemplating divorce and you're worried about what it's going to do to your family, what it's going to do to your kids. I just want to bring that piece back in, Amy experienced with her parents, trying to stay together for her and the kids. But yet, you know, the aftermath of that and how they were able to show up for her later in life really did impact her. And so if you are just contemplating.

You know, reach out to a coach, like get some understanding of why your fears are kind of taking over your decision-making. Because what's best for you and when you're showing up best for yourself is when you're gonna show up best for your family. And my daughter's scenario was a really good scenario around that. And you know, the house and holding on to that.

It's a piece that you're holding onto in your mind, but it doesn't necessarily mean that the kids are not gonna feel connected to you because you don't have a connection to their family home. And look, Amy ended up living with her father, and her mother ended up holding onto the home. So again, the home is where the heart is, and we wanna continue to stress that. And thank you again to Amy. I want everybody to know that Amy's real estate guide will be in the show notes.

I take all of the transcripts from our podcasts. I turn them into newsletters, and we have them as articles on our site. This will also be available as a video podcast on our YouTube channel, as well as if you join our support group at Better Than Bitter, you get a library of resources. So all of this information and Amy's guide will be in our membership and accessible to all of you.

So thank you again, Amy, for your time. It's been such a great experience to have you on this show, and I hope you come back and we can talk about something else that comes up that we find is really important for our audience to learn.

Amy Plante (: 37:31

I love that. Thank you so much for having me, Tania, and good luck to everybody.

Tania Leichliter (: 37:34

Thanks for tuning in to Better Than Bitter, navigating an amicable divorce. Whether you are at the beginning of your divorce journey, midway through, or even done, we want the stories from our guests to give you hope that an amicable resolution is possible. If you'd like to dive deeper into today's episode, check out our show notes for a full transcript, reflections, and links to learn more about Better Than Bitter's coaching courses.

and how to connect with our fabulous guests. If you're ready for more support, you can head over to betterthanbitter.coach. Daily, you'll find details and additional information on our five-step game plan multimedia course, our one-to-one Zoom coaching, group coaching, monthly memberships, events and retreats, and a whole lot more. Plus, we've got a ton of free resources, like our monthly newsletter,

our private Facebook group, Instagram channel, and a library of articles and free webinars to help you along the way. When you go to our website, you'll be able to schedule a free 45-minute breakthrough call. Remember, we're here to help you reach an amicable resolution. Find your courage and believe in your brighter future because you know what? It is possible.

At Better Than Bitter, we measure success by what we give and not by what we get. So let's change the divorce dialogue together. It's time to be better than bitter.