Introduction (: 00:06

Welcome to the Better Than Bitter Divorce Podcast, where we flip the script on divorce and show you how to have a more amicable divorce resolution. I'm your host, Tania Leichliter a divorce coach, a certified life coach, and the mastermind behind the Better Than Bitter five-step game plan course, where I help individuals build a pathway towards a more amicable divorce resolution.

Each week, I'll bring you uplifting stories from people who've successfully experienced amicable separations, proving that divorce doesn't have to be a battleground. Whether you're overwhelmed with grief, struggling with custody and co-parenting, or just dealing with a high conflict individual, this podcast is here to guide you towards reclaiming your life and being what I know is possible, better than bitter.

Tania Leichliter (: 01:15

Welcome to the Better Than Bitter Podcast, episode number 40. Today, we are going to continue our discussion on dating. I am divorced just like so many of you are getting divorced or maybe you're already divorced and you have a curiosity about dating, but you don't want to slip into the same behaviors, the same habits that you have fallen into

which resulted in divorce. So today we're gonna talk about healthy relationships and how to create one, how to find one and how to hold onto one. So hold on tight and listen to the following episode on are you ready to date?

Tania Leichliter (: 01:56

This is the audio version of a video that I did for our YouTube channel.

So if you're interested in more information from Better Than Bitter, please go to our YouTube channel, Better Than Bitter Divorce, But until then, sit back and take a listen to our audio version about dating.

Tania Leichliter (: 02:18

Are you dating because you're lonely or because you're really ready for something? I get it. Getting divorced and thinking about your future and thinking about a potential new relationship that's going to bring something back to you that maybe you felt that you had lost in your marriage, you're probably curious.

And yeah, that opens the door to wanting to be in a relationship in the future for not thinking so horribly about any particular relationship you might end up in, but we don't want to make the same mistakes twice. And so I talk about relationships in a way that will be meaningful to you. It is with these three overlapping circles, passion, playmate,

in partnership. So think about them. They are all overlapped. Okay, there's three circles and they're all overlapped. The centerpiece of that overlap that you're going to get in those circles, well, that is the togetherness part. And the parts of it that are not overlapping, the partnership, the playmate, and the passion, well, that's your independence. Once you have been in a marriage, once you have gone through this process,

you realize the importance of having independence and not having so much reliance on another individual. That idea of being so dependent on somebody, especially after a divorce, makes you recoil and think, maybe I don't even want this anymore because it was so painful to come out of it and feel like I had nothing. But let me tell you, you can have something.

First, you have to focus on yourself. You have to focus on rebuilding yourself, learning who your authentic self is. And then after that, you can begin to build those three elements of a better, more strong relationship. So passion, passion for yourself means love for yourself, being able to spend time with yourself, to be able to have self-compassion for yourself.

The passion that you might have with somebody else, well, that's building that intimacy again, building that passion, that love, the feelings and the stages that go along with that passion, whether it be heated and hot and sexy, or again, it could be building into something that is vulnerable and real. And then the playmate part, being able to find things that you like to do with yourself, find new hobbies, find new friends to do things with.

And then on top of that, having a playmate is a companion is something that has long, long legs into the future. So finding a playmate, but also making sure you're not reliant on having that one person, that companion in your life be the end all, be all for being your playmate. So making sure you have independence as well as togetherness. And then the partnership piece.

I mean, you need to learn how to be a partner with yourself. Learn how to do all those things that you didn't know how to do in your relationship, making sure that you have built a partnership with yourself, that you can be self-reliant and then bringing somebody else into your life potentially that you can trust, that you feel you can lean on or that you can lean on each other, that you can be vulnerable with, that you can be yourself, your true self.

without having any judgment. So think about those three circles as you begin to move forward into a new mindset around dating. And I promise you will be successful. We just had a three-part series in my support group on dating. And the recordings of that three-part series are in my support group membership library. So if you too want to learn more about how to date after and during divorce,

Again, there is so much resources within our support group. If you're interested in dating during or post divorce, but you have a level of fear and don't necessarily know if you're ready, you should join our support group. At Better Than Bitter, we have a support group that meets every single week. And we have just finished up a three-part series on divorce and dating. And all of those recordings

are actually stored in our membership library. So all of the resources, if we've already gone through some of the topics and maybe we aren't gonna return to those topics for a couple of months, you don't have to wait the couple of months because all of that information is on demand. So please make sure you subscribe to my channel here and make sure you sign up for our support group membership plus at betterthanbitter.coach.

Tania Leichliter (: 07:07

Thanks for tuning in to Better Than Bitter, navigating an amicable divorce. Whether you are at the beginning of your divorce journey, midway through, or even done, we want the stories from our guests to give you hope that an amicable resolution is possible. If you'd like to dive deeper into today's episode, check out our show notes for a full transcript, reflections, and links to learn more about Better Than Bitter's coaching courses,

and how to connect with our fabulous guests. If you're ready for more support, you can head over to betterthanbitter.coach. Daily, you'll find details and additional information on our five-step game plan multimedia course, our one-to-one Zoom coaching, group coaching, monthly memberships, events and retreats, and a whole lot more. Plus, we've got a ton of free resources, like our monthly newsletter,

our private Facebook group, Instagram channel, and a library of articles and free webinars to help you along the way. When you go to our website, you'll be able to schedule a free 45 minute breakthrough call. Remember, we're here to help you reach an amicable resolution. Find your courage and believe in your brighter future because you know what? It is possible.

At Better Than Bitter, we measure success by what we give and not by what we get. So let's change the divorce dialogue together. It's time to be better than bitter.